Hey kids

Please send me your best jokes to add to this page!
How do you do that? Look at the blue column on the right to find out.

Now read on... and get ready to laugh!!!

from Nicole, age 7, Hong Kong

Q: how do you make a hankie dance
A: you put boogies in to it

Double yuk!

Three jokes from Maggie, aged 10, Australia

doctor doctor i've got a wind problem
well here's a kite

I think the doctor should say, 'Here's a wind turbine'! Hee hee!

why did the student bring his car to school?
cause he wanted to drive his teacher up the wall

knock knock
who's there
justin
justin who
justin time for another joke
knock knock
who's there
keller
keller who
keller i don't need another joke

from Graycie, aged 7, USA

A boy asked his teacher to go to the bathroom.
The teacher says, "After your abc's".
"OK," says the boy. "Abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz."
The teacher says, "You forgot 'p'."
The boy says, "I know. It's running down my leg".

Oh yuk!

Three jokes from Zoe, aged 9, France.

Q: What is pink and fluffy?
A: Pink fluff.
Q: What is blue and fluffy?
A: Pink fluff holding its breath.
Q: What is grey and fluffy?
A: Dead pink fluff.

Q: What word starts whith e and ends in e and has one letter?
A: An envelope!

Q: What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
A: You're to young to smoke!

I think I might have heard that last one before, Zoe.

Two jokes from Jasmin, aged 10, UK

Q. What goes 'zub zub'?
A. A bee flying backwards.

knock knock
who's there
grandma
grandma who
knock knock
who's there
grandma
grandma who
who
knock knock
who's there
aunt
aunt who
aunt you glad grandmas gone

Three jokes from Lydia, age 11, USA

Customer: What is this fly doing in my soup?
Waiter: The back stroke!

a teacher called for sentences using the word "beans."
"my father grows beans," said the bright boy of the class
"My mother cooks beans," said another pupil.
then a third popped up: "We are all human beans!"

Katie: Will Miss Issippi wear her New Jersey to the ball?
Lydia: Idaho. Alaska.

Two jokes from Rudrashankar, age 10, India

Sam: Hey! Your dog bit my leg
Mona: Sorry but that's as high as he can reach

Sam: I would like to buy a bird
Store Clerk: How about a talking mynah
Store Clerk: This one here is very talented. She can talk in seven languages, sing The Star-Spangled Banner, and recite the Gettysburg Address.
Sam: Never mind that. Is she tender?

Note from Tiki for those who don't know what a mynah is: a bird found in India which (when captive and tamed) has a talent for learning to speak words, rather like some parrots.

from Zahida, age 9, USA

Q: what is the worst thing a fruit can get
A: a fruit punch

from milly, age 10, UK

Q: what did one burp say to the other
A: lets be bad and sneek out the other end

Three jokes from Taylah-lee, age 11, Australia

Q: what do you call an elephant in ourter space?
A: lost

Q: what do you call a parort crossed by a centerped?
A: a walkytalky

Q: what do frozen cows give you?
A: ice-cream

Billie-jo, age 7, England

Q: Whats a ghouls favourite tree
A: ceme-tree!

from Emily, age 9, UK

Q. What is the difference between bogies and broccoli?
A. Children don't eat broccoli! BOOM! BOOM!

Oh yukky!

Leandri Wolmarans, age 11, South Africa

Q: What do you get if you cross Black Red and Wite all over?
A: A playing card

from Priya James, age 14, India

Q: why does the tiger put his head in the toilet?
A: because he is looking for poo.

Urgh! gross! Winnie the Pooh has an unfortunate name!

and another from Priya, almost as gross...

birdy birdy in the sky
put a poopy on my eye
but i dont cry, i dont shy
i'm just happy that cow can't fly

From Joe, age 8, Canada

Q: why did the dinosour croos the road?
A: because chickens wernt envented then.

Note from Tiki: Errm... surely neither were roads!??

Three jokes from John, Daniel and Nathanael, USA

Knock, Knock
Who's there
Who
Who Who
What do you think you are? An owl?

John (Age 8)

Knock, Knock
Who's there
Knock
Knock Who
Knock me over
Explanation from Mom: (at this point the recipient of the joke gets
to knock over the giver of the joke)

Daniel (Age 5)

Knock, Knock
Who's there
Lady
Lady Who
Lady Bug

Nathanael (Age 3)

from Laura Webb, age12, Germany

Whats brown and sticky?
A stick !

from Teigan Roe, age 8, England

Have you heard about the tarantulas who got married? It was a lovely
webbing! (Wedding)

Want to see more jokes kids have sent me? You do?